you're wrong! No, YOU'RE wrong!

In class on Monday night, we spent a lot of time discussing sexual orientation, and marriage equality, which I thought was unrelated to the topics of each essay we had to read prior to class. We also discussed religion for a while – also unrelated to the topics I assumed we were going to discuss. I should explain that I certainly do not oppose discussing these topics, and I have particularly noticed that many of our classmates have the same viewpoints about these issues. This really doesn’t surprise me because, well, it’s no accident that we have all found each other while pursuing a psychology degree. Clearly we are fairly like-minded. We have the same interests, and similar personality attributes. I have to say, it feels so good to be a member of a group of like-minded individuals. I believe this is the first time in my academic career that I have found myself as “in tune” to my classmates, as I am in this cohort. However, I would also be lying if I say I don’t have different opinions about at least some of the content of the discussions we had in class. But it’s a lot harder to express yourself open and honestly when you’re in the minority among your peers.

These days, those that oppose homosexuality as a lifestyle, and same sex marriage as a human right, are blasted as homophobic, backward thinking, close-minded, fundamentalist bible-banging Christians, who need to “wake up and smell the roses” and realize that this is the 21st century. Is it true? Are those people really as ignorant as everyone believes? I admit, they certainly are in the minority in our society today, and some are loud and unapologetic in their viewpoints, and historically they have pushed fear and shame onto homosexuals and any other group of people that don’t match their viewpoints for that matter. This attitude certainly hasn’t helped them gain popularity for their beliefs. It HAS pushed people away from their message though, and created just as much hate and ignorance against them that they have created against others. The problem seems to be fear and ignorance on BOTH sides though. Imagine trying to understand what someone was saying while sticking your fingers in your ears. Comparatively, you couldn’t understand them if they were speaking to you with their hand over their mouth. This is what’s happening in our society today. Our messages are being blocked by filters that prevent others from hearing what we’re REALLY trying to say. For example, one of those bible-banging, fundamentalist Christians might be yelling that “being gay is a sin”, but what they’re really trying to say is, “my beliefs are different from yours and I don’t understand you”. At the same time, when a homosexual feels the need to defend their lifestyle, they might yell back, “screw you, you ignorant, close-minded prick”, when they’re REALLY trying to say, “my beliefs are different from yours too, and I don’t understand you either”. The problem is indeed rooted in a lack of understanding. Our fear and ignorance concerning the beliefs of others causes us to react in counter-productive ways. It closes our hearts and blocks empathy. It forces us to feel the need to protect ourselves and our pride because, let’s face it, it’s easier to hide behind our filters, than it is to expose our vulnerability and lack of understanding.

The path I’ve followed throughout my life has led me to strongly believe that my personal beliefs and opinions should NEVER outweigh my capacity to love others, despite their differences; despite my own fear and ignorance. I haven’t always felt this way, and my beliefs are still changing as I grow older. Most importantly though, my beliefs are rooted in my spiritual faith. I was raised in one of those close-minded, backward-thinking, fundamentalist Christian homes, so I can speak of filters and fear and ignorance from personal experience. I know the message as it appears in the Bible, and I know how convoluted it ALWAYS becomes once it leaves the Book, and travels through the mouths of those who claim to know it best. But I can also speak to the ignorance of those on the opposing side of a debate over things like homosexuality. In an effort to defend their lifestyle, they associate all the shame placed on them and all the hurt they’ve experienced with the beliefs of the people who have punished them. They have taken the convoluted messages delivered by ignorant, close-minded individuals and twisted them into a false assumption about the message.

The bottom line is that there are things that can create a better understanding of others; things that can create an open dialogue and remove fear and ignorance from everyone. We all have to practice having faith, whether it is in ourselves, each other, or God. We all have to practice having hope, whether it is hope that we will be understood when we communicate, or hope that we will have a better understanding of others. And we all have to practice love. We have to learn to love ourselves more to defend against hurt from others. We have to learn to love others, despite their differences, and even if they hurt us. Faith, hope, and love, but the greatest of these is love. This is the purest message behind diversity. It is the simplest, easiest way to foster a greater understanding of others, and to prevent fear and ignorance. Diversity to me, isn’t just about celebrating the things I have in common with others, like my classmates, but diversity is also celebrating the fact that even though I disagree with some of their viewpoints, I respect and love them for it nonetheless.