On The Road Again...

Oh, how I want to be in my car with the windows down, getting sunburn on my left arm as I stretch it out and let the wind float it up and down as I fly down an interstate at 90 miles an hour!  Travelling used to be one of my highest priorities in life.  From ages 6 to 16, I spent a minimum of one week every summer in the Adirondack mountains at Northern Frontier boys brigade camp. My grandfather introduced me to the camp in the wilds of northern New York state, and it was the reason for my developing a love of nature, specifically the mountains. I also believe it created in me a motivation for seeking out new, beautiful places to discover all over the country.

I was fortunate enough to embark on a cross-country trip with my then best friend Ian immediately after graduating from high school.  We spent 7 weeks in a 1972 Volkswagen pop-up microbus, mostly hating each other and dealing with constant break-downs and meeting friendly people all over the country who were fascinated by our young spirited adventurism. Those 7 weeks weeks defined me, helped me grow and learn about myself and others in a way that never would have happened had I stayed home and bummed around all summer after high school.  There were some scary times, and scary people. There was family, old friends, new friends, new experiences, and scenery! Miles and miles and miles of new scenery that I had only ever seen in books or on TV.

After that trip I made a promise to myself that I would take at least one small road trip every year for as long as possible. My own young ingorance prevented me from understanding that, the older I got, the harder it would be to keep that promise. But I had some great times in Denver visiting my friend Deborah in 2001 and 2002. I visited Jenna and Raven who lived in Teluride (CO) at the time, in 2002. In 2003, I went south and visited Laura, Mike and Anna in Fayetteville, with a stop overnight in Virginia Beach and a day trip with Laura and Anna to Columbia, South Carolina. In 2004 I went back to CO to visit Jess in Colorado Springs, but got to drive to Laramie and visit Deborah and her family one more time also.

I wish travelling wasn't so expensive. I didn't take another roadtrip until 2008 when I got to go back through my beloved Adirondack region and travel to Vermont to visit Angie. Her and I travelled to Montreal, which was only the second time I had ever visited Canada (and the first time was Niagara Falls, so does that even really count as visiting Canada??)

Anyway, I'm feeling nostalgic. I have so many memories of being on the road. So many great experiences during those times. I miss it. I miss Molly. I used to bring her with me and I couldn't ask for a better travel companion. God, sometimes I wish she were still around to stretch out on the front seat and lay her head on my arm rest so I could pet her while I drove. She loved taking advantage of my free hand while we raced from state to state. I'll always miss Mollygirl.

Below are some pics of my travels over the years. Not even CLOSE to all of them, since they take up about 5 photo albums on my bookshelf, and another 5 or 6 digital albums. Sometimes when i'm bored, i'll sit in my office and page through them, just to conjure up memories of all the national parks, the deserts, the mountains, and the rivers.  Someday, SOMEDAY, I'll get back on the road again....

overlooking Johnson, VT

Assateague Island, VA

Great Sand Dunes National Monument, CO

Badlands National Park, SD

Red Rocks, CO

Dingman's Falls, PA

Hawk Mtn, PA

Niagara Falls, Canada

Rocky Mountain National Park, CO

Teluride, CO

Arches National Park, UT

Lady Bird Johnson Redwood Grove, CA

Punta Cana, Dominican Rep.

Dominican Republic

Mollygirl - R.I.P.

you're wrong! No, YOU'RE wrong!

In class on Monday night, we spent a lot of time discussing sexual orientation, and marriage equality, which I thought was unrelated to the topics of each essay we had to read prior to class. We also discussed religion for a while – also unrelated to the topics I assumed we were going to discuss. I should explain that I certainly do not oppose discussing these topics, and I have particularly noticed that many of our classmates have the same viewpoints about these issues. This really doesn’t surprise me because, well, it’s no accident that we have all found each other while pursuing a psychology degree. Clearly we are fairly like-minded. We have the same interests, and similar personality attributes. I have to say, it feels so good to be a member of a group of like-minded individuals. I believe this is the first time in my academic career that I have found myself as “in tune” to my classmates, as I am in this cohort. However, I would also be lying if I say I don’t have different opinions about at least some of the content of the discussions we had in class. But it’s a lot harder to express yourself open and honestly when you’re in the minority among your peers.

These days, those that oppose homosexuality as a lifestyle, and same sex marriage as a human right, are blasted as homophobic, backward thinking, close-minded, fundamentalist bible-banging Christians, who need to “wake up and smell the roses” and realize that this is the 21st century. Is it true? Are those people really as ignorant as everyone believes? I admit, they certainly are in the minority in our society today, and some are loud and unapologetic in their viewpoints, and historically they have pushed fear and shame onto homosexuals and any other group of people that don’t match their viewpoints for that matter. This attitude certainly hasn’t helped them gain popularity for their beliefs. It HAS pushed people away from their message though, and created just as much hate and ignorance against them that they have created against others. The problem seems to be fear and ignorance on BOTH sides though. Imagine trying to understand what someone was saying while sticking your fingers in your ears. Comparatively, you couldn’t understand them if they were speaking to you with their hand over their mouth. This is what’s happening in our society today. Our messages are being blocked by filters that prevent others from hearing what we’re REALLY trying to say. For example, one of those bible-banging, fundamentalist Christians might be yelling that “being gay is a sin”, but what they’re really trying to say is, “my beliefs are different from yours and I don’t understand you”. At the same time, when a homosexual feels the need to defend their lifestyle, they might yell back, “screw you, you ignorant, close-minded prick”, when they’re REALLY trying to say, “my beliefs are different from yours too, and I don’t understand you either”. The problem is indeed rooted in a lack of understanding. Our fear and ignorance concerning the beliefs of others causes us to react in counter-productive ways. It closes our hearts and blocks empathy. It forces us to feel the need to protect ourselves and our pride because, let’s face it, it’s easier to hide behind our filters, than it is to expose our vulnerability and lack of understanding.

The path I’ve followed throughout my life has led me to strongly believe that my personal beliefs and opinions should NEVER outweigh my capacity to love others, despite their differences; despite my own fear and ignorance. I haven’t always felt this way, and my beliefs are still changing as I grow older. Most importantly though, my beliefs are rooted in my spiritual faith. I was raised in one of those close-minded, backward-thinking, fundamentalist Christian homes, so I can speak of filters and fear and ignorance from personal experience. I know the message as it appears in the Bible, and I know how convoluted it ALWAYS becomes once it leaves the Book, and travels through the mouths of those who claim to know it best. But I can also speak to the ignorance of those on the opposing side of a debate over things like homosexuality. In an effort to defend their lifestyle, they associate all the shame placed on them and all the hurt they’ve experienced with the beliefs of the people who have punished them. They have taken the convoluted messages delivered by ignorant, close-minded individuals and twisted them into a false assumption about the message.

The bottom line is that there are things that can create a better understanding of others; things that can create an open dialogue and remove fear and ignorance from everyone. We all have to practice having faith, whether it is in ourselves, each other, or God. We all have to practice having hope, whether it is hope that we will be understood when we communicate, or hope that we will have a better understanding of others. And we all have to practice love. We have to learn to love ourselves more to defend against hurt from others. We have to learn to love others, despite their differences, and even if they hurt us. Faith, hope, and love, but the greatest of these is love. This is the purest message behind diversity. It is the simplest, easiest way to foster a greater understanding of others, and to prevent fear and ignorance. Diversity to me, isn’t just about celebrating the things I have in common with others, like my classmates, but diversity is also celebrating the fact that even though I disagree with some of their viewpoints, I respect and love them for it nonetheless.

The itch...

I was speaking with a coworker (who happens to be one of the only people I trust at work) the other day about job searching. Every once in a while we converse about how it might be time to look for a new job.  We usually say things like, "i don't think I'm going anywhere in this place", or "i need something more fulfilling", or "this place SUCKS". We then ultimately start talking about how there doesn't seem to be any opportunities out there when we search online. I know from experience, especially lately, when I spend hours trolling the internet on sites like Career Builder, or Indeed, etc., and I find all these job postings listed that don't fit my criteria, or I'm over- or under qualified for, I just end up feeling dejected and frustrated. There doesn't seem to be anything available to me out there.  I tell my coworker that she's more than qualified for any job she finds. She's ridiculously smart and a really fast learner, which are two things that you really need to be when you get a new job.  But I think she probably feels the same way; that there's just nothing out there that makes her want to take a leap of faith and pursue.

I often end my random internet job search marathons, reminding myself that no job I've ever had was obtained through random internet searches. It's true. I've never gotten a job without knowing someone who's gotten me in the door. Which ultimately makes me think I shouldn't bother wasting my time searching online, because i'll just never find anything on my own. I need to start asking people I know if they can get me in the door where they work.

I've interviewed plenty of people for positions at my company over the last few years who have explained that they make job searching a full time position. They spend hours searching, applying, interviewing, etc. I don't think i've ever hired any of those people, come to think of it. Maybe it's true then, that you just don't find jobs on your own, you have to know someone in order to get in the door.

I guess I've been fortunate never to be put in the position of having to find a job on my own.  Looking back, I've had 8 jobs since I started working at 13 years old.
I stuffed inserts into newspapers at The Shopper's Guide when I was 13, and I got the job because of Jessica, a classmate at the time.
I started working at a tool sharpening shop owned by a family friend. He gave me the job (and why he didn't fire me after the first week, I'll never know!)
When I was 16, a friend got me a job at West Coast Video.
When I was 17, a friend got me a job at Salvation Army Thrift Store (which was dangerous, because of all the cool stuff I "found" and brought home with me!)
When I was 18, and just started college, another friend got me a job at a restaurant. I hated the job, and the owner, but that's another story.

After the restaurant job I think I grew up a little. I stopped working shit jobs and got a job at a company working in group homes with mentally retarded people. Again, my friend at the time, Sandy, got me in the door.  That job last 6 years.

After that, I took a job (which was practically GIVEN to me) working at another agency with mentally retarded people. That job last a little over 2 years. I hated it.

I've been at my current job for almost 7 years now. I got in the door because of the coworker I mentioned above. She happened to be friends with a certain psychotic ex-wife of mine, so fortunately, I got the word that they were hiring and took the chance.

So, after all that rambling, you can see that EVERY job I've ever had was because I knew someone.
Seriously, this really was a long post of nothing but thoughts about working, flowing out of my brain.
Well, whatever. I titled this post "The itch" because of that phrase "the seven year itch". Is that what it is? Or is it the 4 year itch? I can't remember, but anyway, I have "the itch" again. I need a new job. I need to branch out and continue to grow. I need someone I know to mention a job that I would love. And I need to jump at the chance to go get it. I have the itch.

Lies, Lies, Lies....

One of the things I am becoming more passionate about as I get older is using products that don't contain chemical additives and preservatives; or NOT using or buying products that DO contain these things.
If you stop and think about it even for a minute, you will realize that 99% of the products you buy and love, are manufactured with a veritable cornucopia of chemicals which the manufacturer has to infuse in order for the product to have an extended shelf life.  Now, I realize that the wonder of modern technology has given us the ability to buy products that we don't need to use immediately before it spoils, which makes life easier, saves us money, and even makes certain things safer.  But modern science has also created more research into these products, and it seems to me that the more research there is on what makes up the things we love, the more evidence there is that the things we love contain things that can do us harm.
The best example I can think of is High Fructose Corn Syrup. By itself, HFCS may not be such a bad ingredient. You've all seen the commercials (funded by the Corn Refiner's Association, and other HFCS manufacturing organizations) that claim it's not dangerous, it's made from corn, it's just as safe as sugar, etc et etc. While this may be true to a certain extent, the fact that manufacturers put it in EVERYTHING, sort of cancels out any argument that it might be good for us. I dare you to open your refrigerator or cabinets and look at the list of ingredients on some of the items in there. Here's a hint as to where to start: Ketchup, Barbeque sauce, spaghetti sauce, juice, canned fruit, soda.
I don't want to waste this entire post on HFCS alone though. The whole reason I got inspired to write this in the first place was because I read an article someone shared on FB about "flame retardant" being one of the ingredients in Gatorade.

You can read the article here:
http://www.takepart.com/article/2013/01/26/theres-flame-retardant-my-gatorade

What pisses me off is that these companies answer the call of consumers who want chemicals removed from their drinks, by researching ways to add DIFFERENT chemicals in order to fool consumers again. 

The bottom line to me, is that I feel like I get lied to everyday by product manufacturers. Through their use of keywords like "natural" or "organic" or even by using seemingly honest phrases like "nutrient-rich" or "heart healthy", they try to fool me into believing the superficial words they plaster on the front of their product labels. They are hoping I don't turn the box/bottle/can/etc around and look at the ingredients that the product is made of. Even more, they hope that I don't do an internet search to learn more about WHAT the ingredients are.   You can do this on your own, I don't have the energy to list some of these ingredients and what they are (maybe later).

This just goes to show that we need to stop buying this crap. The only way we're going to send a real 
message to these companies is if no one buys from them anymore.

Think about the affect that lying has on you, when it comes to people you know. When you discover that someone has been lying to you over and over again, you stop trusting that person right? So why do we seem to make an exception for companies we buy products from? When we discover that PepsiCo dupes us time and time again into believing that products like Gatorade are good for restoring our electrolytes, when actually it is doing more harm than good, why would we continue to trust them by buying their products?  Is it an issue of laziness on our part? i.e. "convenience", Is it our own ignorance? Is it that we just don't know what our alternatives are? 

It takes a lot of research, but it's not hard to do, just search online using "DIY" or "homemade" and chances are you will learn how to make A LOT of the products you love, yourself. And the best part is, they are not only cheaper (if you break down the cost of the ingredients and the number of "servings" you can get out of them), but they do NOT have all the nasties in them that the store bought products have.

I can go on and on about this for hours especially because i've been learning so much about this stuff recently, but i'll let you do some research for yourself. I just wanted to rant about the lies. 

Appropriately Titled...

A former boss loved to proclaim that she uncovered a new layer "of the onion that is Adam", and although I despised her for her poor leadership and overall interpersonal skills, her regular proclamations about me stuck. So while thinking about an appropriate title for this blog, I decided to go with "The Onion's Layers". When you think about it, we are all like onions. After peeling away our initial "skin", we are comprised of layer upon layer of delicious goodness (ok, so maybe this isn't a good way to describe our personalities, but whatever). At our core, we have a heart that contains the ability to grow over and over again and build new layers over existing layers.

There are "layers" of me that only a select group of people in my life ever get to see. At work, people generally only get to see the professional layer. This is probably the toughest; the thickest layer in my proverbial onion. I guard the rest of my layers carefully. Possibly because I've been burned in the past by people I don't completely trust to begin with. My professional layer and my personal layers don't like to intermingle because of this. Sometimes I just don't see the point in showing my other layers to people who aren't crit
ically important to me.  But who knows, I might just need to practice peeling away that outer layer to some of those people as I learn to let go of things or people I can't control.

But you know, that's all part of the growing process for "the onion" anyway. I recently committed myself to be more honest with people around me. I am practicing being more honest with myself, and part of that is to allow people to see all my layers; to not guard myself so much, because well, I have no reason to be ashamed of who I am or what makes me, me.

I really hate being all serious and philosophical like this. I feel like this post is too serious. I love to laugh and I love life, so I have to practice keeping things positive in these posts. I also wanted a place (other than the Facebook demon, as my wife refers to it) that I could share things that interest me, and make up the layers of my "onion".  I hope this whole blogging thing sticks, because it might end up being cathartic or enlightening or something deep like that.